.
Peace .
For everyday,that I arise I look arnd for wots exciting abt today.so for this particular y’day,it was a show called “roadies” hosted by MTV India….and for whom I wanted to audition.
And yes,this is about this show till d end of this line, rest is abt what it did to me - after I saw on 7:10 on today’s misty, hopeful morning that I wasn’t so “IN”. Suddenly that d mist lifted and d morning was not so particularly hopeful either …..i excuse myself for dat, for dat sort of things was d immediate future to bear with for a Wannabe Wanderer rearing cruising hopes of travelling pan INDIA,THAI,MALAY astride a bike wid an attitude gal(as commonly supposed by all show viewers, but I vouch only for 1st hand exprnc) for a pillion- for sm 10,000 km.
Checking out for M3146 (also,for M3110 for rohtash-in case my frend gets to live dat so macho wildo “vision”),I got grounded …….sadly ,happily or nonchalantly..that’s what I set forth to decide dis morning in the return journey ,courtesy my “take anywheres”- (wich wud only be my legs).
Yes,I want to be Famous,Known and yes,my desire is hugely unsatiated- and often I will to keep it under wraps of complacence.This is was a chance coz only til last evening or in fact the whole day……..I keep scouting at people,makin subconscious calculation ,as in,how I would be “a level up” than most of these other wannabes.And I dint want to fit into d frames dat the Audition judges carried – This type of thing was a role dat my mind played to me all d time,all I had to do was drive some other bike.
So ,when M3146 doesn’t figure in d list my anxiety studded self adulation is puffed out to make space for d urgently requested self help mechanisms titled “VIP handling : for hours of crisis).It train guns at d homely n somewhat puffed (out of her happiness dat Life offered her vis –a vis me, d complaining kinds,and hence sinewy coz I dnt guffaw so often – setting out here to find d oblivious “why” abt it ) lady.
So here’s fate, delaying my pending starhood. I eavesdrop within to understand that I am not ready for it yet. Now, here, as I planned to write this 2 hours ago while strolling in my mental and the city’s municipal bylanes,I said to Bhanu(for God sake that’s my name),to obliterate all the “maybe’s” from this talk, that I had to be sure ,and to express all the Grey spectrum between the Black and The White that happens in me. I pondered at my stakes as a entrant out of 6000 ppl in my city,and d next scene my head chooses to play for me is the singing megashow for wich the youngsters sent no less than 65 million SMSes to choose between one of the two tousled hair cuckoos (they were d current heartthrobs of many a college goin teens and their maternal fraternity- or rather maternity,alike). Stardom stakes for the loser; the ignominy involved (decide by a void of couple of 100 thousand of votes) was far greater than the limelight I wud gather ever in this RoadSHow of mines.But that’s d tragedy of a fame starved mind,wich less unfortunately, is housed in my top slot(why…….becoz I still attach a big ticket to my being red carpeted it to d NEON LIGHT SHIMMERS of gala Cannes dinners n d like)
Again the mental wranglings ,u know,where ur mind continuously plays back d events frame by frame to scrutinize where me ‘n’the Big She dint agree. Ofcourse,when I was writing abt- what’s sex for u,ur biggest weakness, my gyaan abt looking good-I had this shiny pate RAGHU in my head.He surely wud have nodded in his head abt the punk answers dat I served him when I am in my usual raunchy humored self Thats how I was when I logged on to d revered Mtvindia.com.
hey ,wait a minute,as mind sees a mental Red light to stop d train of my thots- was I tryin to live as She expected.One moment of losing suddenly pointed out to a miilion miniscule grains of flaw that riddled my being……… Yes,it always that I and u & we try to funnel it down to that one moment of error ,and save d rest of us ,somehow championing to our egos that we are 99.99 % of OURSELVES- preserving steadfastly our entity,which is often put to tests administered by destiny ,either publicly or privately.
See that’s the power of success and somewhat more powerful is the stress of failure- and of showing them what how I see myself daily- only unbeaten or rather just uncertified to a few million viewers on their TVs that, and that what I was set about to conquer in this morning.Here d mission isn’t to become a ROADIE the next year or subsequently,but how to maintain my progressive stride of positivity immaterial of events and consequences,so that my belief that I am someone, stays intact and grows to being the ONE……that’s why we live when we grow beyond our toys …..and that’s how I like to think of myself.
In a minute,those 30 or so finalists seemingly made me look inferior at d job I thot did and looked best in-being oneself. AND here was I who usual procedure to get prepared, was to throw d preparations to air, never to give myself an idea of the forthcoming so that cliché doesn’t occupy me in d moment called for ingenuinity.And for that one slip,was I willing to let go my way of life, which Providence chose for me,evn lit IT dimly ,so that I always inch to where I need to be, but not strongly enough so that I am sure of where I m heading. I nevr believed in taking lessons for I always believed that lessons are more specific to the times and ambience in which they occur………they are not universal answers,and people wud often mistake to copy them into other times, where they wud be obsolete…….Only thing”universal “ is just a guideline ,a guiding force , so unique and subtle..that we take years to even note if we have one.All have it,but here we often talk or lead to need Quicker results……..with a common symptom that must appear……….MONEY or FAME and often both
Peace .
For everyday,that I arise I look arnd for wots exciting abt today.so for this particular y’day,it was a show called “roadies” hosted by MTV India….and for whom I wanted to audition.
And yes,this is about this show till d end of this line, rest is abt what it did to me - after I saw on 7:10 on today’s misty, hopeful morning that I wasn’t so “IN”. Suddenly that d mist lifted and d morning was not so particularly hopeful either …..i excuse myself for dat, for dat sort of things was d immediate future to bear with for a Wannabe Wanderer rearing cruising hopes of travelling pan INDIA,THAI,MALAY astride a bike wid an attitude gal(as commonly supposed by all show viewers, but I vouch only for 1st hand exprnc) for a pillion- for sm 10,000 km.
Checking out for M3146 (also,for M3110 for rohtash-in case my frend gets to live dat so macho wildo “vision”),I got grounded …….sadly ,happily or nonchalantly..that’s what I set forth to decide dis morning in the return journey ,courtesy my “take anywheres”- (wich wud only be my legs).
Yes,I want to be Famous,Known and yes,my desire is hugely unsatiated- and often I will to keep it under wraps of complacence.This is was a chance coz only til last evening or in fact the whole day……..I keep scouting at people,makin subconscious calculation ,as in,how I would be “a level up” than most of these other wannabes.And I dint want to fit into d frames dat the Audition judges carried – This type of thing was a role dat my mind played to me all d time,all I had to do was drive some other bike.
So ,when M3146 doesn’t figure in d list my anxiety studded self adulation is puffed out to make space for d urgently requested self help mechanisms titled “VIP handling : for hours of crisis).It train guns at d homely n somewhat puffed (out of her happiness dat Life offered her vis –a vis me, d complaining kinds,and hence sinewy coz I dnt guffaw so often – setting out here to find d oblivious “why” abt it ) lady.
So here’s fate, delaying my pending starhood. I eavesdrop within to understand that I am not ready for it yet. Now, here, as I planned to write this 2 hours ago while strolling in my mental and the city’s municipal bylanes,I said to Bhanu(for God sake that’s my name),to obliterate all the “maybe’s” from this talk, that I had to be sure ,and to express all the Grey spectrum between the Black and The White that happens in me. I pondered at my stakes as a entrant out of 6000 ppl in my city,and d next scene my head chooses to play for me is the singing megashow for wich the youngsters sent no less than 65 million SMSes to choose between one of the two tousled hair cuckoos (they were d current heartthrobs of many a college goin teens and their maternal fraternity- or rather maternity,alike). Stardom stakes for the loser; the ignominy involved (decide by a void of couple of 100 thousand of votes) was far greater than the limelight I wud gather ever in this RoadSHow of mines.But that’s d tragedy of a fame starved mind,wich less unfortunately, is housed in my top slot(why…….becoz I still attach a big ticket to my being red carpeted it to d NEON LIGHT SHIMMERS of gala Cannes dinners n d like)
Again the mental wranglings ,u know,where ur mind continuously plays back d events frame by frame to scrutinize where me ‘n’the Big She dint agree. Ofcourse,when I was writing abt- what’s sex for u,ur biggest weakness, my gyaan abt looking good-I had this shiny pate RAGHU in my head.He surely wud have nodded in his head abt the punk answers dat I served him when I am in my usual raunchy humored self Thats how I was when I logged on to d revered Mtvindia.com.
hey ,wait a minute,as mind sees a mental Red light to stop d train of my thots- was I tryin to live as She expected.One moment of losing suddenly pointed out to a miilion miniscule grains of flaw that riddled my being……… Yes,it always that I and u & we try to funnel it down to that one moment of error ,and save d rest of us ,somehow championing to our egos that we are 99.99 % of OURSELVES- preserving steadfastly our entity,which is often put to tests administered by destiny ,either publicly or privately.
See that’s the power of success and somewhat more powerful is the stress of failure- and of showing them what how I see myself daily- only unbeaten or rather just uncertified to a few million viewers on their TVs that, and that what I was set about to conquer in this morning.Here d mission isn’t to become a ROADIE the next year or subsequently,but how to maintain my progressive stride of positivity immaterial of events and consequences,so that my belief that I am someone, stays intact and grows to being the ONE……that’s why we live when we grow beyond our toys …..and that’s how I like to think of myself.
In a minute,those 30 or so finalists seemingly made me look inferior at d job I thot did and looked best in-being oneself. AND here was I who usual procedure to get prepared, was to throw d preparations to air, never to give myself an idea of the forthcoming so that cliché doesn’t occupy me in d moment called for ingenuinity.And for that one slip,was I willing to let go my way of life, which Providence chose for me,evn lit IT dimly ,so that I always inch to where I need to be, but not strongly enough so that I am sure of where I m heading. I nevr believed in taking lessons for I always believed that lessons are more specific to the times and ambience in which they occur………they are not universal answers,and people wud often mistake to copy them into other times, where they wud be obsolete…….Only thing”universal “ is just a guideline ,a guiding force , so unique and subtle..that we take years to even note if we have one.All have it,but here we often talk or lead to need Quicker results……..with a common symptom that must appear……….MONEY or FAME and often both
